I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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