I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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