I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
