super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
