maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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