did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
