why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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