are you still at the devil's house?
wanna go halves on a baby?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
