from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
