bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
