My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
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I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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