i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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