And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
