...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
