is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
