i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
only you would photoshop your dick
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
