he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
