my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
