Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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