Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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