Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
