I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize