And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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