All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
