I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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