Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
