Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
