I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The beer is more important than you right now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
