Pappa wants mamma naked
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Success! We fucked roommates!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
