I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i drank out of a bidet.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
