If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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