So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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