one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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