I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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