That's when you crack a 10am beer
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
