The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
