So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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