just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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