party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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