Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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