i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i think i just lost a toe
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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