I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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