Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
