this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
