Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
