Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
