I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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