I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
