Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
