But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
