Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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