So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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