one two three fourrrrnication!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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