i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i think i just lost a toe
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
