all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
