So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
