But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
