Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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