A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
