I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
