Kiss
Puke
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
