dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
