Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
