my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
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