Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
