Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
someone owes me an orgasm
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
