According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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