Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
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your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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