i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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