Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
